i got moved back into my old building, i had moved out thinking that a change of scenery would be good, and it has, but i am back here and i feel home again. i thought it would have been hard and would make me think or corey or kyle being here, but the space gives me a open feeling. its nice cause i know i can be loud here and it is big enough to harbor a decent amount of friends for gatherings :) For a bit i was struggling with emotions of the heart, with friends and with love. for a bit i took for granted and misread some of the things going on around me, but i guess we all get into those funks sometimes. I felt pretty abandoned for no good reason, perhaps i was playing the woe is me card and feeding into it in my own head. but snapped out of it awhile ago and ever since i have felt the waves of love washing over me in many different senses. I have had many people point out to me alot of good qualities and and it refired my ambitions to become even better and to let that inner light shine brighter than ever. Ive still got lots of great plans for the future, planning in the late spring early summer doing some wwoofing around the country, basically from here out to the southwest and up the coast with a carload of a few of my best friends. we'll get to visit friends that have moved along the way which will be amazing too, and im hoping that the trek will give me a better idea of where i want to settle down, at least for the next year or two. As always, it feels as if there are never enough hours in the day, yet i am excited for every new things i find to put on my plate and dig into. Im going on a vacation starting this weekend for a week down to kansas city to visit johnny and hang out with some other kansas city peeps. when i get back i am going to try and shift my attention and focus on getting more done every evening, more art, more practice in hoop, poi, and i want to get a staff and try to do more yoga- i am also going to do a cleanse and start from that point having more determination to eat right and healthy and organic and more raw. and i have said that a few times, but like corey said.... sometimes i t will just click and become easier. im hoping that will happen. but i really want to do it cause my energy level has been low and i think it will really help me to be more vibrant and active. but yeah..... thats my idea and goals and stuff like that :P

listen to mad amounts of reggae music. I've been listening to alot lately and its making me happy :)

You know its a good day when 8 hours of work feels like 2. I've gotten to work on a comp with a big screen, sit in a comfy chair, and i was recently introduced to my new best friend- pandora- who has filled my day with amazingly good chill music and a lot of reggae.

my ride fell through for the bassnectar show, but i think i have another one worked out- one way or antoher, hell or high water we will ge there :) picking up saree down there so that makes me uber happy and kicking it with johnny and some other KC peeps all weekend- it will be a great time!!!! super psyched!

it seems like i never have enough time for anything anymore, but i have been getting alot done. back at work, got to party with a LOT of my friends for my housewarming, yeah.. i'm at work so im tryingto be fast. but theres been alot of shit on my mind. alot of confusion. trying to figure out why i feel the way i feel. i really think that when i get out of iowa alot of it will come into its own. new people, new environment, yet alot is changing for the good around here. reconnected with alot of friends, theres alot more going on in my city now so i have shit to do. i'm really perplexed by human nature, but thats something i dont think anyones going to fully understand so i'm not going to try. i just figured i understood my friends a lil better than that. but everyones changing. blah blah......random thoughts. peace- MWAH!